The Rusted Cube is an award designed to honour the advertisements which stands out below the rest and the minds behind them. It was designed to be an annual award. However, it has been four years since the Rusted Cube was last presented. Many people in the awards committee have been out of the country. As a result, it has been difficult to determine which commercials deserve the award.
After the committee members traded opinions and punches, and drinks were thrown, the "winners" were chosen. The committee informed the winners of its choice and asked them to be present at the awards ceremony, but all of the winners declined the committee's invitation. However, the committee decided that the awards ceremony should go on as scheduled.
So, without further ado, we present to you the winners of the Rusted Cube Awards.
Best Ad that also Serves as an ad for an Album: Celine Dion for Air Canada
The winner of this category actually sells two products — Air Canada and Celine Dion. Initially, this song probably was written only for use in an ad for Air Canada. However, the diva (or her manager) decided that she could make millions by selling the song (plus the money she got from Air Canada). What began as an ad for an airline evolved into an ad for two seemingly unrelated products.
Most Annoying Personality (Multiple Appearances): Mr. Wendy
He is annoying; he drives his "children" nuts; he walks up to police officers for no reason; he bothers neighbours at night. It makes one wonder what happened when the marketing executives reviewed the ads.
"This guy is really annoying."
"Will he ever stop bothering others?"
"He's perfect. He will get people to get to Wendy's just to shut him up."
Good thing they have brought Dave Thomas back into the ads. Mr. Wendy belongs in the Hall of the Banished, alongside the Goodyear Tire guy.
Honourable Mention — the Scottish man from the Alexander Keith's ads.
Award for "Only in a Commercial would People do This": Molson's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" ad
This ad is Molson's plea for the return of NHL hockey, but instead of making the committee members to yearn for hockey or beer, the ad drove them to dash for the remote control. Seriously, would any grown men sitting in bars, corner stores, their basements or on their couches actually sing this song?
"Where has the Creativity Gone?" Award: Clarica
This company used to produce commercials which get people to think. Its ads often contained something ambigious and someone would interpret it. Its series of ads was sometimes funny, and it almost always delivered its message. However, it has been a while since the company's last effort. Please, we need more creativity like this.
Award for "Idea for the Wrong Product": Extra Gum
Of course, the gum pieces did not go through that kind of obstacle course and they are not living beings. But why would anyone want to eat a piece of gum which has been trampled on, washed in seawater, came in contact with all kinds of bugs (when it was on the grass), or has sand and shoe markings on it?
Best Ad Masquerading as a TV Program: (Tie)The Apprentice and Survivor
Great work, Mark Burnett. You have got many people hooked on these advertisements, including many in the awards committee. Your ads are so successful that many corporations are fighting to have Jeff Probst or Donald Trump mention their products in the ads. Bravo.
Of course, these commercials would not exist without television networks. So we present the following award to honour the people who continue to expand the TV universe, which creates more space for ads to fill.
Most Unnecessary Channel: Book Television
Many blame television for eroding literacy. It is quite ironic that someone has created a television network dedicated to books. Yes, this channel may help promote some excellent books. However, most people probably still get book recommendations from newspapers, family, friends, or co-workers and will do so in the near future.
The committee chairman, Mark McDermot, has promised that this award will be presented on a regular basis in the future. However, he did not state how often this award will be awarded.