Every year, on the night before the Oscar, the Razzies are awarded to immortalize the very worst the movie industry has to offer in the previous year. Although television viewers have to put up with horrible advertisements during each and every commercial break, no one has ever rewarded the producers of those ads for their creativity, or lack thereof. In this spirit, I present to you the 1st Annual Rusted Cube Awards.
Due to time constraints, the announcement of the nominees was omitted and only the "winner" of the awards were made public during the ceremony. Here, in no particular order, are the winners of the 1st Annual Rusted Cube Awards.
Most Annoying commercial: (Tie)Budweiser's "Wassup" ads and Rogers @Home ads
The Budweiser "Wassup" ads reach to pinnacle of annoyance and influence. Not only do they irritate your ears, they are so catchy that one can't resist the urge to repeat the phrase. The Rogers @Home ads, on the other hand, naturally drive people to change to channel. They use annoying songs and/or hypnotization to reach their desired effect. (On a side note, the Rogers @Home ads never showed what type of internet connection are they using. Maybe, just maybe, the people in those ads are using cable internet connection).
Least Effective Commercial: No winner
If a commercial is so ineffective that no one can recall it, it truly deserves the honour. On the other hand, since it was so forgettable, nobody knew what was it about.
Least Honest Commercial: Any miracle weight-loss ad
There is NO easy way to lose weight, it's a fact. However, people still fall into these traps in a attempt to lose weight fast. Of course, most of them state that the advertised results are not typical, but since the words "results not typical" are often displayed in fine print, no one looks at it anyway.
Least Understandable Commercial: Mazda ads
In each and every one of the Mazda ads, a boy says "Zoom Zoom". What does that have to do with selling automobiles anyway? Removing that element won't diminish the effectiveness of the ad in any way, but it will certainly clarify what's going on.
Award for "What's he/she doing in this ad?": Albert Einstein in the Pepsi ads
Seriously, what is the relationship between Albert Einstein and cola? Sure, the chemical make-up of the main competitors are slightly different, but the end result by drinking either is no different. Besides, why would someone buy a product that causes hiccups at an alarmingly high rate?
Advertisments we can live without: Informercials (ALL of them)
Imagine a world without informercials, where we don't have to listen to people claiming a product to be a necessity when we all know that the item is useless. Without informercials, product manufacturers can bypass the celebrity salesperson and the mindless on-site audience and slash the prices of their products, which means more buyers.
Although the Rusted Cube is an award for the world's worst commercials, we have to take some time to honour the networks of which the companies leech on.
Most unnecessary TV network: Outdoor Life Network
If a person truly wants to get outdoors and have an adventure, he will want to experience it up close and personal. Why would someone looking for an outdoor adventure sit on a couch and watch others enjoying the nature?
Finally, as the 20th century has just concluded recently, we present to you:
Worst ad of the 20th century: The Mr. Plow ad
(If you have no idea what I am talking about, refer to the Simpsons eplisode in which Homer bought a snow plow and began a snow removal business.) After viewing this ad, you will only have one responce — "Huh?" What does an oprea singer have to do with a snow removal service, anyway?
Congratulation to all the award winners, you truly earned it. It is difficult to become the best, but it is even more difficult to be the worst.
(All winners of the Rusted Cube Award can claim their prize from Mark McDermot in his office at MC 7056, University of Waterloo.)
Jason "the Screamer" Lau