Apology Now
Anyone who read the things I write (type?) here probably can deduce my feelings towards China, its government in particular, rather quickly. After recent events, such as the ruling over sovereignty of the reefs in the South China Sea and verdicts on rights lawyers, I have discovered the error of my ways. After much reflection, I would like to apologize to the Chinese government and people for the following transgressions:
- Disputing Chinese sovereignty of the reefs in the South China Sea and Diaoyu Islands. Same goes for Taiwan, (outer) Mongolia, northern Vietnam, parts of North Korea, northern India, Ukraine, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, and any land which had been Chinese territory at some time in history
- Disputing the fact that the Chinese has complete ownership of the Moon's territory and resources and Chan'er, not Neil Armstrong, is the first person to set foot on the Moon
- Not wearing shirts made by Chinese manufacturers while running and covering the logo of the Chinese brands when I do
- Wearing running shoes made by the knock-off brand New Balance instead of those made by the genuine brand, New Barlun
- Purchasing genuine goods instead of counterfeit products, which according to the great businessman Jack Ma, are clearly superior in quality
- Refusing to drink all milk products from China
- Consuming food which have been screened for import to Hong Kong instead of purchasing them directly from (super)markets in China
- Agreeing with Jackie Chan's claim that "products made in China are explosive"
- Not saluting and breaking out in tears while watching the Chinese nation flag during flag raising ceremonies and while listening to the Chinese national anthem
- Opposing incorporating National Education into Hong Kong's primary and secondary school curriculum
- Disputing the Chinese Communist Party for their central role in defeating Japan in World War II
- Supporting Hong Kong athletes and cheering against Chinese athletes when they face each other
- Believing in democracy and that the governing party of a country does not have to divine right to rule indefinitely
- Believing that the Chinese government and its surrogates are responsible for taking away Hong Kongers' rights and corrupting Hong Kong's core values
- Refuting the indisputable claim that the democracy movement in Hong Kong is bankrolled by foreign adversarial forces, the US in particular
- Attending the candlelight vigil commemorating the Tiananmen Square Massacre, I mean the political turmoil between the Spring and Summer of 1989
- Supporting the award of the Nobel Peace Prize to Liu Xiao-Bo, who deserves to be punished for plotting to overthrow the government
- Mocking the Confucius Peace Prize
- Questioning the truthfulness of those confessing their indiscretions on Chinese Central Television
- Criticising the existence and necessity of the Great Fire Wall
- Writing in tradition Chinese characters instead of simplified Chinese script, which is clearly superior and efficient
- Severely hurting the feelings of the entire Chinese population by mocking Spokespersons of the Foreign Ministry who make such statements
- Regarding those who post comments in support of the Chinese government's position on various issues as members of the 50 Cent Party
- Supporting Hong Kongers' right to explore the possibility of forming a nation
- Thinking that the Chinese Dream is a desire to turn back the clock 250 years, when China is the most powerful nation in the world and foreign visitors to China were required to kneel and bow before the Emperor ... President
- Attributing Hong Kong's pollution problem to emissions from China
- Not standing aside (with a smile) when Chinese visitors wish to cut the line
- Staying in the seat assigned to me while riding on trains in China (or anywhere)
- Anything I think or do that causes trouble to China or any Chinese national, past, present and future
- Writing about China and its people in less than glowing terms
- Participating in the (First Annual) Apologise to China Contest
- Causing anyone into thinking this list is made with a sarcastic bent
- Omitting any item not mentioned above
With the above apology, I should be back to on good terms with the Chinese government and the people it rules over.