The popularity of mathNEWS had soared ever since 2019, when it changed from a bi-weekly publication to a weekly one. The decision delighted many mathies, who now spend every Friday mornings reading irrelevant humour instead of snoozing during boring classes. Often the supply of mathNEWS is not enough to meet the demands of mathies. mathNEWS became the largest publication on campus in 2027, when Imprint was forced to shut down due to an unusual high demand for refund of the fee.
Many mathies hope that mathNEWS can go daily so that they can go through all 8:30 classes without falling asleep. The current editors of mathNEWS actually attempted to make the mathie population's dream a reality. However, the end result was ugly.
In late April, while the UW campus was mainly deserted, mathNEWS editors borrowed the robot lab. With the help of a cyborg, the editors successfully created a movable text generator that can spew out mathematical humour at the speed of 1000 jokes a second. The text generator, named Reileid (his articles are real, but he is not), can also make quirky remarks and rants. However, during the testing phase, Reileid began to make incomprehensible remarks and raise its voice. All the jokes it made involve the programming language Mocha (the descendent of Java). It escaped from the lab and began wrecking havoc on visitors. To prevent further destruction, the cyborg dismantled Reileid and the visitors were only mildly shocked.
Right now the mathNEWS editors are working hard to create another movable humour generator to replace Reileid. The replacement, Reileid II, should be up and running by the Fall. The mathNEWS staff are also working with the Robotics department of the Math Faculty to develop other movable text generators such as the Yeller, the ChimpMan, and Phal. The editors proclaim that mathNEWS can go daily as soon as this September.
Milton McDermot