On the first day of the school year, the returning teachers of a school are glued to their desks, waiting for the bell to ring. Two newly-hired teachers walk outside, sharing their plans and anxiety to each other.
"You look nervous. This is your first job?"
"No, I have taught for 10 years. My previous school closed due to low enrollment."
"Sorry to hear that. The last school I taught at merged with this school for the similar reasons. So what are you teaching?"
"Citizenship, Economics and Society. In short, Civics."
"You are not teaching that class to students in Secondary 3 (Grade 9), are you?"
"You heard that too. I have no idea if those who wrote the curriculum guidelines on sex ed put that section in as a prank or not.
"Pledge of abstinence? In writing? What century is this?"
"Those who seriously take such a pledge probably would not do it anyways. The rest would treat it like a historic document even if they sign it."
"It says 'If someone becomes excited, he should go to the playground to play basketball, help clean the blackboard, help take the collected homework to the staff room'. Imagine how the class would react if a student volunteers to clean the blackboard or collect assignments.
"It also says 'If two students are alone and one of them becomes excited, he should leave the scene or go out and play badminton.' Wait a second. You teach PE, don't you?"
"And I am the coach of the badminton team."
"I can imagine there would be a large turnout at the boys' team tryouts."
"And I may need to hold tryouts and practices for the girls' team behind closed doors. Not sure if that would work though."
"Don't forget the intramural and inter-school matches."
"Let's back off for a moment. Maybe officials are just using badminton as an example ... but that would apply to any another sport.
"What happens if the student lives at a building which bans any kind of ball games?"
"And what happens if the sports facilities are fully booked? What would the excited people do then? Play on the spot?"
"Good thing the guideline didn't mention fencing, because that would be downright explicit."
"A legislator even suggested students should take a shower when they become excited."
"Take a shower? What should he do if his partner at the scene wants to join him?"
"And the section on pregnancy before marriage? What happens if someone says something like 'the Mayor became a father in high school and he turned out great'?"
"Now that's simple. Just report the student to the national security police. The age of Mayor's eldest son is now a State Secret."
(The bell rings.) "Time for the opening assembly. Perhaps witnessing the flag raising ceremony in person would arouse their excitement towards the country instead of towards someone."
"You know what 'flag raising' means as a slang term, right? That definition has been around long before I was a student."
"Right. I forgot about that. Maybe their excitement would subside by diverting their attention to 'The Supreme Leader's Thought', 'The spirit of the latest Plenary Session of the Central Committee' or 'The spirit of latest People's Congress' "
"As long as they don't mistake 'New Production Forces' for 'New Reproduction Forces'." (The Chinese phrase for 'New Production Forces' may mean either.)
"Not sure if that would work either. Just look at how excited the Mayor and the legislator become upon hearing those terms."
"Let's just stick to finding those who sing the anthem too softly or those who wear transition lenses. It's much easier."
(The curriculum guidelines refer to the one being excited as "he".)