​​​​​ Let's Wait till Something Happens offside flag

Let's Wait till Something Happens

The following is based on records from meetings between the mayor of a city and her health advisors.

March 23

Mayor: As you all know, many recently diagnosed with the disease who origin we cannot mention have visited bars. So we should consider banning sale of alcohol at restaurants and bars, because alcohol can lead people to engage in intimate behaviour.

Advisor A: If one can engage in intimate behaviour while sober. If you want to stop spread of the disease, you should keep people from gathering for meals and drinks by closing down restaurants, bars, shopping centres and places of entertainment for a few weeks.

Advisor B: Besides, you would become a laughingstock if your idea is leaked to the public. (Mutters to oneself) No wonder your approval rate has hit single digits.

Mayor: I'm sure that will work. I'll leak the idea to the press and see how the public reacts.

March 27

Advisor A: It seems there is little support on your proposal to ban sale of alcohol.

Advisor B: We have to stop people gathering in public. We have to enforce closure of non-essential services.

Mayor: We can't do that. The restaurant owners would hang me and I need the legislator representing the catering industry to win re-election.
I got it. We can set limits so that restaurants can be no more than 50% full and no more than 4 in each table. There has to be a least 1.5 metres between tables.

Advisor A: I don't see much scientific support to your proposal.

Mayor: I am not finished. I will let the police to apply their own interpretation. They can gather strangers in group of 5 and fine them for violating the rules and make multiple visits to restaurants to scare people away.

Advisor B: These measures are supposed to protect public health, not spite those who don't like you.

Mayor: You are here to give me advice. I will decide which ones to accept.

Advisor A: People may gather at other places as well. Cinemas and wedding parties for example.

Advisor B: Don't forget gaming centres, pool halls and public baths as well.

Mayor: All right. We will close those down for 14 days.

Advisor A: What about karaoke studios, nightclubs and mahjong studios?

Mayor: Food is served there, so we can consider them restaurants. Besides, most of them are owned by my supporters. I can't afford to lose their backing. So in one word: No!

April 1

Advisor A: Everyone attending a party in a karaoke have been diagnosed. You should have forced the closure of karaoke studios.

Advisor B: I forgot to mention last time that you should have closed down clubhouses as well.

Advisor A: Remember you once said that intimate behaviour should be avoided. Perhaps you should shut down beauty parlours too.

Mayor: Very well. We will force the karaoke studios, nightclubs, mah-jong studios, beauty parlours and clubhouses to close for 14 days, starting tonight.

Advisor B: Tonight? Should we give the operators more time to prepare? Can we start the closure at, say, midnight?

Mayor: The public keep complaining that our response is too slow. That's why we are starting the closure sooner.

Advisor A: Are we planning to extend the ban we enacted a few days ago to end alongside the latest ban? Otherwise people may get confused.

Advisor B: And people may gather once more if the one ban ends before the other.

Mayor: Tell me again when the first ban is about to expire.

April ?

Advisor A: The spread of the disease is not slowing down. We may need to extend the closures.

Advisor B: Why can't we just shut down all non-essential businesses for 14 days?

Mayor: We can't. The economy is bad enough and the shutdown would make it much worse.

Advisor A: If we can't contain this outbreak soon the economy will collapse. Shutting everything down would be painful, but people would stay at home and the disease would not spread as easily.

Mayor: You want us to follow the former colonial master's measures? We now report to a different boss, remember? When the boss say things must return to normal, things return to normal.

Advisor B: But disease don't follow people's orders.

Mayor: Stop it, or I will reassign you to a dead-end post.

Advisor A: Shouldn't we compensate the businesses affected by this? We have a large fiscal reserve and there is no better time to use it.

Advisor B: Didn't we promise a cash handout to every permanent resident in the budget? We should advance the payment so that people can receive the money sooner.

Mayor: Of course not. We still need that reserve to fund my pet projects, like the 1000-hectare reclamation project, and we need to wait so that we can use the cash handout to buy votes in the upcoming legislative election.

Advisor A: But many are losing their jobs and need the money now.

Mayor: If I do that I would not have this job for much longer.

Advisor B: (Sees message on the phone) Mayor, multiple cases have been reported at a police station. Some of them are officers patrolling a vigil at a subway station a few nights ago, enforcing your rules.

Mayor: I can't let anything bad happen to the police. They are my last line of support. (Turns to her advisors) You asked for it. You got it. Let's shut down all non-essential businesses.

Advisor A and B: (Whispering) We would be gone if the pay isn't good. As long as she's in charge, the city is doomed.