(The following story is inspired by recent news, where it was revealed that academic staff of a local private university received their doctorates from an alleged diploma mill, founded by a council member of another university, which offers degrees from universities in the Philippines.)
A student walks into the admissions office of a college that offers degrees from foreign universities. The student approaches an admissions officer.
"I would like to apply for a degree," the student tells the officer.
"We offer bachelor, masters and doctorate degrees. Which do you prefer?" says the officer.
"You offer doctorates? That is great, but I don't think I need one right now."
"Maybe not now, but you never know when one would come in handy. Think of it this way: having a doctorate would be essential if you are in the running for senior level posts of a university.
"If you have a doctorate, people will get the impression that you are intelligent and help you get votes should you plan to run for public office.
"You know there is a legislator who possesses a doctorate. He coined phrases like 'Same! Same on you', 'you are dreaming on your office' and 'you are being a CEO'. Many think he spews nonsense, but most of those criticizing him don't have a PhD. If you have a doctorate, you can run your mouth off and people would still vote for you."
"Well. I am sold. The problem is I am very busy and I don't think I can set aside enough time for my studies."
(The officer gives a short laugh.) "Don't worry about that. A lot of our students are like you. We can arrange your study program to suit your needs. You can obtain your degree in no time."
"How soon?"
"Some of our students complete their doctorate work within a year. We also have students who completes the work for a bachelor's degree in two months."
"That is fast, but wouldn't that arouse suspicion? Most full-time students need three, four years to earn a bachelor's degree. How can I complete a doctorate in a year or two? I am not THAT smart."
"Don't worry about that. We know people would be suspicious if too many of our students complete degree programs in such a short time. What we do is to bring the students' enrollment date forward. So if you enroll today, we would state in our records that you enrolled last year."
"I see. So the public would think that I complete the degree in two years when it only took me one year."
"You got it. Any more questions?"
"Just one: what happens if the media uncovers this?"
(The officer's voice turns serious.) "We would state that the media breaking the story is immoral and not telling the whole story. Wait. Are you recording this?"
The student empties all the pockets and the backpack. "Look, I'm not recording anything. I am really interested in enrolling."
"Sorry about that. It's just that another college was recently caught doing something similar. What is your proposed field of study?"
"Communication. When do we start?"
"You already did, and you had just completed part of the coursework requirement."