offside flag

Sharing Our Home (Address)

One day a couple goes on a house hunt. They ask a friend, who is also an estate agent, to come along.

"What preferences do you have?" asks the estate agent.

"We both work long hours and we hate commuting," the wife says. "So we would prefer a flat in an area with lots of transport options."

"We own a car. So we prefer to live in a building with plenty of parking space," answers the husband.

"It would be great if our home is close to a major shopping centre," the wife adds.

The husband nods, then says "we should be able to see the mountains or the sea from our home, preferably both."

"With our hectic schedule, we have little time to exercise. That's why we would like to live in a housing estate that has its own gym and swimming pool," the wife remarks.

The estate agent writes down the couple's preferences frantically. After he stops writing, he picks up his tablet and begins to check whether there is any flat that suits what the couple's wants. A few seconds later, several hits appear on the screen.

"It looks like today is your lucky day," he says. "We have a flat that suits all your needs."

"Can we take a look at the flat today?" the couple asks in unison.

The agent makes a phone call. When he hangs up the phone, he tells the couple that he will head to his office to pick up the keys of the flat.

When the estate agent returns, keys in hand, he drove the couple to the estate where the flat is located.

The estate agent first gives the couple a brief tour of the estate, including the shopping centre, large car park, land transport interchange, gym, and swimming pool. Then he leads them to the flat, where the agent asks the couple to take a look around. The couple becomes awe-struck when they look at the view from the window —no building stands in the way between the flat and the sea.

"What do you think?" asks the estate agent.

"It's perfect," the wife exclaims. "This is exactly what we are asking for."

"Will there be any new buildings blocking the view in the near future?" asks the husband.

"There's no need to worry," says the estate agent, pointing at the plot of empty land below them. "The government has no plans to develop that piece of land in the near future. So you can enjoy this view for at least a few years."

"I have heard that the schools in this district are highly sought-after. Is that true?" asks the wife.

"Indeed. There are many families moving to this area to give their children a better chance of being accepted by schools in this district," replies the estate agent.

The couple step aside and talk between themselves. They decide that they would buy the flat at the right price. They walk towards the estate agent and ask "how much?"

The agent gives the owner's asking price. The couple yelled in unison "THAT much?" The couple resumes talking between themselves.

"Can we afford the mortgage payments on our salaries alone?" asks the wife doubtfully.

"If we can find ways to get extra income, we should be able to afford them," replies the husband.

"The question is how?" the wife asks.

A long pause ensues, until the husband snaps his finger and says, "I think I know what to do."

The wife becomes curious and queries, "What is your plan?"

"Since schools in this area give preference to applicants whose address is near the schools, we can lease the address to parents desperate to apply for these schools. I have heard some are even offering their mailboxes for rent. Perhaps we can do that too."

The wife expresses doubt. "Isn't that illegal?" the wife says. "Besides, leasing our address and mailbox to other parents would increase competition and reduce the chance of our kids getting into those schools."

"Right. I didn't thought about that." the husband says. The couple becomes silent once more.

Before long, the wife breaks the silence. "I think I have a better idea. Since people are not required to show proof of address when registering to vote*, we can offer the address to anyone who wants to vote in this district."

The husband is anxious about the idea. "Are we asking for trouble? Lately there are a lot of suspected cases of vote-rigging. Many have shown documentary proof that complete strangers are using their addresses to register to vote."

"Don't worry. The officials will become suspicious only if there are too many people or different surnames being registered to the same address," replies the wife. "As long as those registering using our address have the same surname as yours or mine, we won't be caught."

"Wait. We can claim that our mothers come live with us sometimes. Then anyone who share the same surnames as them can use this address to register to vote."

"You are right, darling. This is a brilliant idea."

At this moment, the estate agent comes forward and says "Wake up. Good thing you are dreaming, otherwise you are getting yourselves into a lot of trouble." He then slaps the couple. That is when couple realizes that they have fallen asleep inside the estate agent's car.

(* — The local government is proposing that, starting next year, everyone registering to vote for the first time are required to show proof of address.)