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Taking a Wild Pitch

I was about to start my meal when the phone rang. I picked up the phone and said "hello".

The person on the other end of the time started speaking within a second. "Good evening. I am calling on behalf of Pay It Off Credit. Do you have any outstanding credit card balance?"

"No. I pay off my credit card debt on time every month."

"Okay. Are you currently making any mortage payments?"

"No, I don't."

The telemarketer seemed to become desparate when he said "do you have any other kind of debt? We can provide all sorts of debt restructuring program."

"None whatsoever." The caller seemed to get the clue and hung up. Before long the phone rang again.

"Hello. I am a financial planner for Affluent Financial Services. It is our pleasure to offer you a free planning session."

Realizing that the session would be little more than a sales pitch, the thought of telling him that I was bankrupt crossed my mind, but I decided against using this response. Instead I said "Sorry, but I would be very busy in the near future." The caller seemed to get the clue and hung up.

I walked back to the table and the phone rang again. This time it was my cell phone that was ringing.

"Hi. I am calling to introduce the latest phone plan."

Before the caller even had a chance of explaining the features of the plan, I said "no thanks. I am currently using the cheapest plan and I rarely use half the allocated minutes." The caller seemed to understand that this call would not result in a sale and hung up.

I returned to the table and began eating. Before long the phone rang again.

"Hello. I am calling from Thin For Sure weight loss centre. I am calling to promote the newest weight loss plan."

A desire to say "becuase of following your diet scheme, I became an anorexia. In fact, I am thinking of suing you" flashed my mind, before I came up with a better response.

"Sorry, but I am too thin as it is. Do you have any plan for someone who wishes to gain some weight."

The telemarketer replied by saying "just eat more and exercise less." Judging from his voice it was clear that he was annoyed by my response. The irony of hearing a person promoting a weight loss plan to someone who is eating was not lost on me.

Just seconds after I put the phone down, it rang again. I picked it up and yelled "whatever product or service you are selling, I don't want it."

As I move my finger to the red button to end the call, I heard a familiar voice saying "hi, it's me. Am I calling you at a bad time?"

The latest caller was a friend of mine. I told him that I would call him back. The reason for the wait was that I needed sometime to calm myself down. Hopefully no one else would call in the meantime.