(Note: The following is a joke and the comments made in this article do not reflect my views.)
By now, news that Pluto had been downgraded to a dwarf planet had reached everybody's ears. So far there has not been any massive reactions. A majority of people were indifferent to the news. However, one day I found a few people who have strong reactions towards the change.
"Who do those people think they are? Changing the status of a celestial object. They already disproved my claim of me being the centre of the universe. Why can't they stop challenging my beliefs?" was the reaction from a man who claimed to be from Pluto and that everything revolves around himself.
"Maybe Pluto should start a group consisting of former planets and those objects that would never be called planets. That way, they can share the pain. It should not be hard to find those interested to join. There are already four would-be planets in our solar system alone" remarked a woman carrying volumes of pop psychology books.
"Did they consult Pluto before making the decision? You don't demote any worker with a vote. Why are planets any different?" said a man who claimed he was demoted in his job.
"It is an outrage. What we are seeing is an obvious case of planetary discrimination. You can't downgrade a celestial object just because it has a different orbit, is smaller than our Moon, and cannot get obstacles out of its way. All planets deserve equal rights. Join the fight to eliminate discriminatory labels like 'dwarf'!" said a young man with a loudspeaker, urging passers-by to attend a rally and march against the demotion of Pluto's status.
There were also people who took the news harder than the rest of us.
"Why now? I was about to launch a pitch promoting real estate on Pluto. I even had a great slogan — 'Be the First to Own Two Planets'. Now it is no longer a planet, how can I go out and sell the idea? It is obvious the people making this decision are not open to new, innovative ideas," said a panicked man while handing out pamphlets and posters. Not one accepted the handout.
"This is only the beginning. They strip Pluto of its planetary status. Who are they going to target next? Did you know that Uranus' axis is tilted? So much so that it rotates sideways. Are they going to target it next? Now that they have succeeded in demoting one planet, they will be more relentless. Mark my words: we will be calling Earth the blue orb or the blue sphere pretty soon if those people have their way," stated a rambling man in a straitjacket.
There were also some who tried to look at the lighter side.
"Now the astronomers need to do is to find three more dwarf planets. That way, we get to have the Seven Dwarfs in our solar system," said a child holding a copy of Snow White.
Some even came up with ways to profit from this decision. "That property seller is acting like the world is coming to an end. What I see is opportunity. Soon science museums and space buffs will have to buy updated models of the solar systems. Those old, outdated models will have to find new homes, right? It's too wasteful to throw them all to the landfill."
Being curious, I asked them about their plan. "We will collect all the old solar system models, then repackage them. Now that the 9-planet solar system is obsolete. The models with 9 planets are now collectibles. They will only go up in value. If we get enough of those models, we will make millions. WE'RE RICH!" They asked me if I was interested in buying a model or two. I declined. They began to pressure me and I had to yell "is that Pluto over there?" at them to escape.
While I ran away, I saw a couple of clerks coming out of the store. They appeared to have heard what my interviewees said and decided that they have heard enough. They yelled "so what if Pluto is demoted. There is no need to have such drastic reactions."
It was then I thought that I should stop asking for reactions, before metaphorical sunspots appear on people's faces.