New Year, Same Resolution

The start of a new year: a time to reflect on the year gone by; a time to look back at what we did (and what we did not do) over the past year; a time to set goals and plans for the coming year; and of course, a time to set New Year's Resolutions.

Many people set New Year's Resolutions. Usually they resolve to lose weight (maybe unnecessary had they not binge during the Christmas/New Year period), exercise more, quit smoking/drinking, spend more time with family and friends, make fewer guarantees that they know they can't keep (this is particularly popular among athletes and politicians). However, often those who make resoltions make them on impulse and don't have the stamina, will, time, or whatever excuse they come up with to make sure that their goals are met.

While I don't make New Year's Resolutions (since I don't think ther is any difference between a resolution set on January 1st and one set on any other day. If a resoltuion is made, one should make good on that resoltuion), there are a few resolutions that (I think) no one makes and are good for a chukcle. If you are resolving to laugh more in the new year, perhaps the following will help.

To follow through on last year's New Year's Resolution
To break last year's New Year's Resolution
Not to make any resoltuions from this day forward
Not making any resoltuions, effective at the beginning of this current statement
To deny having made any New Year's Resolution in years past
To show how one feels inside with facial expressions visible to everyone
To speak out about one's true feelings toward everything (such as bad cooking, events that drive one to sleep, insincere expressions by others, bad choice in clothing)
To spend more time with fair-weathered friends
Not to say anything that can possibly offend someone
Not to harm any living being, be it animal, plant, or paramecium
To do something mentioned in song lyrics (like flying to the moon, singing in the rain, or riding on a horse with no name)
To always say "No" to a Yes-Man
To follow every advice given by each self-help book one can find, especially the contradictory ones
To follow instructions too closely
Not to nit-pick over everything
Not to change the subject when faced with legitimate questions
To swear not to use any swear words in the future
To set a time limit at which all promises one makes must be fulfilled
To literally walk a mile in someone else's shoes
To listen to a telemarketer go through the entire sales pitch without interuption or hanging up the phone
Not to act like someone half one's age half the time; someone a third of one's age a third of the time; and someone a sixth of one's age a sixth of the time
Not to write anything on something that one knows nothing about
Not to resort to writing lists when there is little or nothing to write about
Not to take cheap shots at oneself

If you think my writing is not of good quality, I resolve to write better articles in the future. (Whoops! Did I just make a resoltuion myself?)