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You Better Watch Out

To all security and law enforcement personel around the world:

It is December and Christmas is approaching. So it is time to once again be on the lookout for a criminal mastermind that has been at large for, based on most educated guesses, over a century.

This criminal has committed a large number of offences, includling breaking-and-entering (usually via a chimney), operating a vehicle without a licence, operating an unregistered flying machine, driving without wearing a seatbelt, speeding, flying without announcing a flight plan, carrying flamable goods, said to be lumps of coal, while flying, and multiple counts of entering a country illegally.

More troubling, this criminal has the ability to monitor every person on the planet, whether he/she is sleeping, awake, pouting, crying, or being bad or good. We do not know what methods he uses in collecting the information. However, it is likely that the information is collected for nefarious purposes. Our agents have also found that after collecting the information on everyone, he checks the list twice. That is when he determines whether a person is naughty or nice and leaves behind an item for this individual according to his findings.

This man is a threat to global security and as long as this man remains on the loose, no one is safe from his constant prying.

Fortunately, we have received some information about this criminal from someone who was at the scene of one of his crimes. The following is a brief description of this criminal.

This criminal has to be taken into custody or else no one is safe, particularly on Christmas Eve. If anyone sees this criminal, report to authorities immediately. Elimination of this threat is essential in the quest to make the Earth a safer place.

Also be on the lookout for elves who work for this criminal. They are said to be working at this criminal's hideout, or Santa's Workshop as they call it.