offside flag

Fabled Race Result in Question

In a case that will sure set a precedence for eons to come, the runner-up of a race has filed a lawsuit against the winner. It has requested to have the results of the race annulled, claiming that the winner has used illegal substances during the race.

The plantiff of the case is a descendant of the hare that participated in the world-renowed "Race between a Hare and a Tortoise". In a statement, it claimed that its ancestor was "in tip-top shape in the lead-up to the race and could not possibly lose to an animal many times slower than it".

According to eyewitness accounts, the hare had a great start and established a huge lead early in the race. Then, for some reason, the hare fell asleep shortly before reaching the finish line. Its slumber was so long that the tortoise was able to overtake the hare and make it to the finish line first.

The plantiff claimed that someone in the tortoise camp had injected sleep-inducing medicine into the hare moments before the race. It has also raised the possibility that the tortoise's assistants injected steroids into the turtoise during the warm-up. It said that it has the samples to proof the tortoise's guilt, but it has refused to surrender the samples, at least until the court agrees to hear its case.

When asked for comment, the plantiff said, "I am not asking for history to be rewritten. I just want justice for my family. Ever since the race, others have labelled my family as 'Aloof' and called us 'Losers'. We have been humiliated for too long. I hope this suit will shed some of the baggage we are carrying.

The tortoise, which is currently residing in an undisclosed location, could not be reached for comment. However, its attorney stated "the hare had the opportunity to file a challenge of the results after the race and chose not to do so. It is obvious the runner-up of the race knew that my client won the race fair and sqaure. To bring forward this lawsuit at this time is unfair to both my client. The action the plantiff has taken will have a detrimental effect to all of us. If this is allowed to proceed, then the public will think 'Why accept defeat when you can request to have the results annulled?'"

Since there is no previous case in which statute of limitations is involved, it is difficult to predict whether the case will be brought up to court. However, it could be a long time before this case is heard on court since the courts has a backlog of cases. These include: