One day, on their way back from work, a couple was grocery shopping in a grocery store. They were scratching their heads, trying to figure out who to have for dinner. They were at the meat counter when a discussion began.
"What about steak and potatoes?" asked the man.
"Anything but that. Even if we know where the beef came from, we may be unlucky enough to buy something that came from an animal with mad cow disease," the woman replied.
"As long as we fully cook the meat, we'll be fine."
"I thought you were on the Atkin's diet. Isn't potato on the 'Not to Eat' list?"
"I got off that diet months ago. My blood pressure went sky high since I went on that diet."
"What about chicken?"
"Chicken? Haven't you heard about avian flu? My boss says it could be the next global epidermic. The same goes for ducks, and geese. I won't eat anything that flies anytime soon."
"There is nothing to worry about, as long as we have it fully cooked."
"I would rather not take that risk. That's why I stopped eating poultry when I go out to eat."
" What about pork? Are you more comfortable eating pork?"
"Oh no. Not after what happened in China. Someone died mere hours after their infected fingers came in contact with the diseased meat. People got sick and had to be hospitalized even though the pork they ate was cooked.
"How about deer or bison?"
"Since when do you like eating those? I've had deer once and I've had enough after one bite. The same goes for bison, ostrich, rabbit."
At this time, they realized that they were at the counter that s ells seafood.
"We haven't had fish for dinner for a while. How about fish for tonight?"the woman asked.
"Fish? Are you trying to poison me? The mercury level in some of the fish we eat are way above what's normal. Besides, these fish are probably farmed. I'm sure you know that they pumped those fishes full of hormones. I'd rather have shellfish instead," the man remarked.
"Don't you know how clean the sea is where they are caught? Those areas can be quite poluted, you know. Not only that, if we don't cook them right, we may be getting all kinds of ailments. Then the only thing getting a good cleaning would be our stomaches."
"How about lobster or crab? We haven't had a nice dinner for a long time."
"Where would the money to buy those come from. You have always told me that we are on a tight budget."
At this time, they found that they have reached the produce section of the store.
The man asked his wife, "since meat and seafood are out of the running. We have to find something from this place."
"These look really nice." The woman said this while holding a couple of bell peppers.
"Look at how glossy they are. Someone must have sprayed something onto it. The same goes for most of the plants here. They must have some pesticides and herbicides in and on them."
"We will be fine. We can just soak them longer to wash the chemicals away."
"And I can clear the stink on me away if I take a shower everyday. Trust me, there will be some residue left. Besides, the water is not totally clean."
"Of course, it must have been years since the pipes were last cleaned. I haven't heard of anyone replacing the pipes for a long time. The pipes must be full of rust by now. There is no way the tap water is clean."
"Remember also that most of the nutrients may be wahsed away if you soak the vegetables for too long."
At this moment, a neigbour of the couple walked by and said "you can buy canned food or frozen food. Then you don't have to worry about the above problems." He then walked away.
" Wait a minute. Often there are some sort of liquid in the cans containing the canned food. That liquid can be anything," the woman said.
The man added, "since the water is so bad, we cannot put anything that would end up in our mouth in it. That means we have to use the microwave to thaw the frozen food. The radiation would kill us for sure."
"We can just buy bottled water to solve the water problem."
"The bottles are not totally clean. Besides, some of the plastic particles may be absorbed by the water."
"All right then, Mister Paranoid-about-everything. What are we going to eat?"
"Organic food. They don't have any chemicals in them. They should be safe to eat."
"Really. We don't know if their organic claim is true. The government may think so, but perhaps they are part of the conspiracy as well."
The couple could not find anything suitable, so they decided to leave the store. On their way, they came up with something.
"One thing is for sure--we won't be coming here anymore," the woman said.
"Wait a minute. Why don't we grow our own food?" the man replied.
"First, we need to get our own water supply. I got it, we can distill water in our storeroom."
"Then, we will find some seeds to grow our own vegetables."
"We would use our distilled water to water the vegetables."
"When we have enough plants, we will leave some for our consumption and the rest to feed the animals we acquire."
"We can then breed the animals and have meat again. We can even dig a pond in our yard to raise fishes."
"We can store what we don't eat. Better yet, we can sell those to others. We are going to be rich. RICH!"
"Wait. Something just hit me. We would need a biodome. And an air purification system to clean the air that goes into the dome. The air we breathe is full of harmful chemicals."
"Right. The soil in our yard may also be contaminated--the roots of the plants can absorb the groundwater. Who knows what's in the water? Also, we have to develop our own soil."
It is at this time they realized that they have reached their home. Their nextdoor neighbour was doing some garden work.
"That was a pretty interesting exchange," quipped the neighbour.
"Did we talk that loudly?" the husband replied.
"Indeed, you talked so loudly the whole neighbourhood can hear."
"Sorry about that," the wife said.
"I think I have the perfect solution to your problem," the neighbour told the couple.
"What is it?" the husband asked.
"Let us know," the wife added.
"The neighbour look at the couple, then said, "it's very simple. From now on, don't eat anything at all. In a few weeks, you won't have to worry about what to eat anymore."
The couple was shocked at the suggestion.
"Wouldn't we starve to death?" the couple asked in unison.
"Exactly, then you don't have to worry about what you put into your mouth."