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Delay of Game

With the hockey lockout into the fifth month, blame can be found everywhere. No one in the business is immune — the owners, the players, the media, the management, and of course, the ticket vendors. No one knows when it will end, not even those who are in the inner circles.

Most politicians have kept their mouth shut on the lack of good-willed negotiations between the owners and the players. That is, until now. Some Canadian political insiders are beginning to give their opinions on this labour battle.

According to a high-ranking member of the Liberal party, the lockout couldn't have come at the worse time.

"Without hockey, people may actually start to pay attention to all the scandals surrounding our government. We would be in big trouble if people find out that there is an inquiry on the sponsorship scandal, that our helicopters don't fly and our submarines don't sink, that there are thousands of potential deportees and refugees unaccounted for, that we have a few provinces which are angry with us, that the government have not drafted any important legislation since master overthrew the last guy," the Liberal said in a statement.

The opposition parties have also entered the fray let their opinions known for all. Well, at least those who didn't fall asleep while they banter on and on in a joint press conference of representatives of all three parties. A Conservative was the first to speak.

"As the Leader of the Opposition, I will use all the power I have to force the two sides to get back to the negotiation table. This prolonged absence of hockey worries me. People are starting to notice that I have been largely invisible for the past few months, that I don't know how to criticize the gaffes the government made, that we don't know how to make comments without causing a firestorm, that I don't know how to convince the voters that we are capable of running this country."

"At first, I thought this lockout would help the statue of our party and get people to learn about our policies. Too bad so many people still give us the silent treatment. What has to happen for people to actually listen to us? The party is totally behind the players in this fight, too bad most people seem to be on the side of the owners. On the good side, the consumption of trans fats have fallen sharply and we are importing less rubber," a member of the NDP stated.

"For too long, Canada have siphoned the best of Quebec players and milked them dry. Also the club in Montreal should change their nickname. It doesn't help our cause when so many people in my kingdom are rallying behind the Canadiens. Quebec players, especially the goalies, wake up. Both the league and the players association are against you. Just look at the proposed rule changes they are trying to implement," a prominent member of the Bloc Quebecois remarked.

Attempts were made to obtain reactions from US lawmakers on the current lockout. However, most of the people in Washington, DC were either too jubilant or too depressed to respond. The responses usually came in the form of "how dare you bring up negative stories when we are celebrating our party's convincing victory?" or "how dare you bring a depressing story like that. Haven't we suffered enough losses already?"

Before the reporter was booting out of the city, someone made the following statement "if a tree falls on Gary and Bob while there are in the woods, then something may happen."