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A Shriek from Up Close

A football player, on his retirement, said that one should consider retirement as graduation from a stage of one's life. Of course, here at mathNEWS,you can't talk about one without the other. Graduation from Math typicallymeans retirement from mathNEWS. I guess you already figured out what this is about? Yes, it is my turn to join the mathNEWS Alumni Association (okay, it doesn't really exist).

Through mathNEWS you have gotten to see and know the articles behind the man. I think you may want to know a little about the man behind the articles. (No, I am definitely NOT pretending to be Latrell.)

As most of you readers know by now, I said that I am from Vancouver. Well, I did spend my high school years there, at a school whose building doesn't exist anymore (okay, it was replaced). When I first came to Waterloo, three and a half years ago, I knew practically no one and didn't know much about the place. 42 months later, it seems that I don't know much more than when I started. Maybe I do know more, but just don't know about it.

My first year was a rather monotonous one. I didn't do much, other than going to class. Yes, I can hear a few "What were you thinking?" from the bleachers. Like many of you, mathNEWS was part of my required reading every fortnight. As my stack of mathNEWS started to grow, so was my desire to write for it. So at the beginning of the second year, I started to write things that interested me and, hopefully, the readers.

Whenever there is something that makes me chuckle or think, I put that something into words and build them into articles. Of course, I may have paid too much attention to some of the things going on around the world. Believe It or Not can be treated as pure gossip. I was just trying to find news that aren't depressing and poke a little fun at it. After all, there is already way too much depressing news, and we can always use a laugh.

I don't why, but people around me tend to think I am an "AllBusiness and No Nonsense" kind of person. Well, I think "means little business and says a lot of nonsense" would be a better description of me. When I read some of my past articles, an urge to apologize to every English teacher I ever had may arise (for the "quality" of my writing, or lack thereof, and my abuse of brackets and the words weird, odd, nutty, strange)(that may be hard to do, since the locations of those people span half the planet). Sometimes I wonder how can I survive 40 courses in Waterloo, and yet without knowing the location of the keys on a keyboard. I guess I am just one odd fellow. (As proof, I once thought of being a Stat major. Thankfully, STAT 231 helped me regain my sanity.)

Over the years, people I know (and sometimes don't know) have askedquestions about myself, maybe because I act a little mysterious at times. Questions like "Why is your nickname Screamer?", "Who is Mark McDermot?", even "You are Raymond, right?" (I am not kidding, a couple of people actually asked me that question) were thrown at me. Maybe I should answer some of them.

The origin of my nickname was rather simple. Sometimes I can speakincoherently and may have to raise my voice to make it easier on the listeners. That and my parents always said that I speak too loudly. As for the identity of Mark McDermot, he is someone that I met during myfirst year. We became close and he started telling me some of his adventures and misadventures, some of which he had allowed me to write about. He also informed me about some of his work, which I am not at liberty to tell. After all, he has some gadgets that can cause great pain. Oh, and I am definitely NOT Raymond.

You may may noticed I have made more than my share of self-jabbing. It seems that I am only good at poking fun at myself. Maybe I am lacking in the confidence department. Frankly, sometimes I don't think I know much about myself. It sounds strange, but it's true. There are times when I don't know what am I doing or who I am. Kind of sad, isn't it? Being me for over 20 years and not knowing much about it. Maybe that is why I seem to be so confused and that I need so many identity doubles to write articles.

It is hard to think that four years have gone by so quickly. Sometimes when I read something I wrote, I wonder "how did I write that?" Maybe that's my secret on writing exams — when I am working on a problem, I know how to do it; but after I finish it, I forget how I did it.

Of course, I can't leave without saying something about the mathNEWS staff. What a great group it is. You never know when something hilarious would occur, when odd quotes are blurted out, or when a brilliant thought comes forth. Production nights are some of the best times I ever had in front of a screen and I won't forget what the experience was like.

Well, you may not want to hear any of these ramblings of self-pity. So I'll just get on the catapult and AHHH...

Jason "the Screamer" Cheuk Yin Lau
Did I confuse you too much?