Whenever someone mentions the words "endangered species", one typically thinks that the species in danger is one in the animal kingdom. Endangered animals get a lot of attention from many people, while the same cannot be said of plants. When was the last time you heard of a plant on the brink of diappearing from the face of the Earth? Some scientists have recently made a statement that bananas may become extinct in 10 years.
Many are dismissing the claim as nothing but pessimism, but the story has brought panic to many fans (and consumers) of the fruit.
"This can't be happening!" said one panicked shopper.
"If the bananas are gone, I would actually have to use a knife to take off peels if I ever wanted to have fruit," stated a person who claimed to have "lazy hands" and who "hates peels".
"It would mean I actually have to use my teeth to consume fruit," said a man who is afraid of hard food, fearing that it might break his teeth.
"It's terrible. I just spent millions on informercials to promote my new all-banana diet. If there's no more bananas, I would be ruined. RUINED!" said Ana Nableep, the creator of the all-banana diet and author of the books Improve Your Health — One Banana Peel at a Time and Bananas — the Real Yellow Gold. She then offered our reporter copies of her books. When our reporter refused, she peeled off the pages and ate them.
Even video game personalities have voiced their concerns about the future of their favourite fruit.
"This is bad news. How can I gain extra lives in my adventures to the countryside?" said a worried Donkey Kong. He also said that he enjoys eating bananas while driving go karts. "How can I savour bananas and then use the peels to stop others from passing me in the future?"
"Without bananas, my life would be nothing but torture. I don't think I would have made all the jumps and taken on all the insane obstacles had bananas not available to reward me," said a monkey rolling in a ball.
The news has brought a variety of reactions, most of which are worried. We at mathNEWS will continue to delve into this further as more information becomes available.
(In case you are interested, the claim that banana is in danger of extinction was part of an article on the January 16, 2003 issue of New Scientist.)
Jason "Screaming Bananas" Lau