In the last week, the math computer network had experienced some problems and several servers were down at one time or another. According to the MFCF reports, screamers, or "things that produce garbage signals at a high rate," may be responsible for the problems of the network. I would like to take this time to clarify that I'm NOT the mastermind behind these screamers and I have nothing to do with the network slowdown.
As most of you may know, I'm NOT in CS (I know, I belong to the minority) and I am having trouble coding a text-based computer game (like many of you, I have NO life at all). How is it possible that I am creating codes that spew out junk at a rapid pace? There is no way one can find a life by prolonging the time people spend on assignments and reducing the amount of free time they have.
Besides, I already am spewing articles for mathNEWS at a frequent rate. I don't have to bring down the network to disrupt the people working on the terminals. All I need to do to ground multitude's work to a halt is to write a few time-consuming articles in mathNEWS. I don't have to produce garbage computer signals to stop people from compiling their programs — writing mathNEWS articles that compel people to read them again and again is a much better method. Scientific studies have proven that mathNEWS is much better at hindering mathies' work progress on the computer than any problems on the network.
Jason "the Screamer" Lau
Yelling articles, not computer signals