During my month off, I browsed through a few papers and found many interesting things occurring around the world. Some of the following are real and some are pure bologne. Can you distinguish the real occurrences from the fake ones?
In July, a English football player signed a new contract with his club. Sounds common enough, doesn't it? However, the contract stipulates that the player has to eat a sheep's intestines before the contract takes effect. When asked of how the intestine tasted, the player replied, "No comment." Other sporting clubs around the world are now considering using this method to get disgruntled players to renew their contracts. I also heard that the football player also consumed a sheep's private parts. However, no one, not even the player himself, has confirmed whether this was true.
Thanks to the success of reality shows, many television producers are trying to get a piece of the pie. A British TV station proposed to make a show that makes boot camp look like a walk in the park — the contestants would eat and sleep in the trenches and fight imaginary enemies. Not much detail was giving in how to eliminate people from the —game.— Naturally, the plan was criticized by many to be too inhumane and barbaric. I haven't heard much of the show lately, so I suppose the producers had pulled the plug and cancelled the ""show."
Almost everyone have picked up some food they dropped on the ground and put it back into their mouths at least once. However, some methods used by people to prevent wasting food is downright scary. Some chefs put meat that lies on the floor back into a stew. People using materials from last year to make this year's pastries. People using organs of animals to add flavour. Cooks mixing leftovers from previous days and mix them with fresh ingredients. I'm going to stop here because I don't want any readers to get upset stomachs from reading this paragraph.
Geneticly modified food has stirred quite a debate in recent years. Most GM food looks like rather ordinary, but some new breed do stand out from others. Square watermelons are no longer a pipe dream — one can actually purchase a square watermelon in Japan. The real kind is a little cheaper than what Homer Simpson paid for, but it still costs about 10,000 pennies per melon. At least it doesn't pop back into a round watermelon. It really interests me as to how one eats such a watermelon around the rim. How do they taste like? It's anybody's guess.
"D'oh" is no longer a phrase confined in the the Simpsons. Now everyone can check whether the meaning of "D'oh" is "annoyed grunt" as many fans of the show suggest. "D'oh" is one of many new entries to the Oxford English Dictionary. Anyone interested to know the true meaning of the word can go to a neighbourhood bookstore or check the web version.
A few universities are now offering programs where the major area of study is the study of bagpipes — the structure of bagpipes, the construction of a bagpipe, and bagpipe music. Of course, some background in music is needed. This sounds like an interesting and fresh program. However, one question remains — where do the graduates go to work?
Jason "the Screamer" Lau
Maybe I'm reading too much fine print