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The Three-Eyed Fish Strikes Back

About a year ago, sushi was added to the menu of the math C&D and it's been a huge success. On each day, the delicacy is often sold out soon after it is placed in the fridge of the C&D. However, not all customers of the C&D are happy with this addition. Blinky, a three-eyed fish who lives somewhere along the Grand River in Waterloo, visited the Math C&D recently. He was horrified when he saw the amount of sushi the mathie population consumes each and every day. He asked the management of the C&D to pull sushi off the C&D menu or he and other three-eyed fishes would stage endless protests.

Naturally, the C&D management had no idea what Blinky was saying, as he doesn't speak any human languages. As the two sides couldn't reach an agreement, Blinky left with disgust.

On the very next day, a legion of three-eyed fishes, along with an eight-eyed fish, a fish with a head of a cow and one with a head of Prof. Frink, all of which are from Springfield, USA, gathered in the MC building and staged their protest. According to a mathNEWS personnel who is able to speak Poissonian, the preferred language of Blinky, Blinky and his crew won't leave unless they pull sushi off the market. The C&D management refused and Blinky and company decided to seal off the entrance of the C&D. The mathies who frequent the C&D, resourceful as they are, managed to get inside the C&D with other means.

Realizing that their first plan failed, Blinky and company shifted their strategies and settled in MathSoc in an attempt to scare people away. However, the plan backfired, as multitudes of current and former UW mathies visited the MathSoc office to catch a glimpse of Blinky and others.

On the following day Blinky and his legion of fish shifted their attention and decided to disrupt mathie life where it matters the most. Blinky and his friends went on a feeding frenzy and ate everything that are edible on the 5th and 6th floors of MC. The mathies were overjoyed as all of the exam papers for the April exams were devoured by Blinky and his friends.

As many of the mathies who normally visit the C&D were drawn to the MathSoc office, the C&D managers finally decided to have a talk with Blinky. The C&D offered a sample of sushi for Blinky to try and told Blinky that all the sushi served by the C&D are from two-eyed fish. Blinky couldn't control himself and consumed all the sushi of the C&D. Satisfied with the explanation, Blinky and company left MC and returned to their homes.

Blinky may have left the MC building, but his presence can still be felt. A life-sized model of Blinky is placed inside the MathSoc office. Anyone with laser vision will be able to see Blinky in all its glory.

Jason "the Screamer" Lau